I'm Emily and I pretend I'm sassy when I'm really not. But it's the thought that counts.

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notallwugs:

Two scientists walk into a bar:

"I’ll have an H2O."

"I’ll have an H2O, too."

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.

kelekelo:

every class is art class if you dont care enough

amporca:

Trying on clothes is really hard when you hate yourself. Liking someone is really hard when you hate yourself. Eating is really hard when you hate yourself. Life is really hard when you hate yourself.

strawberryalien:

kidzbop is gonna be like “my anaconda don’t want none unless u like fun, hun!!”

"oh my gosh. look at her heart!"

deeply:

stop unfollowing me i have been nothing but gorgeous and hilarious to u all

catsbeaversandducks:

"Just get in the car, Alice. I’ll explain on the way."